Highway Maintenance Personnel Gifts

71 section of the road

Thru versus Through Traffic

'Someone's got to do something about these pot-holes!'

'Heirloom Tiffany Lamp Delivery. I Brake for Everything.'

'Never, Ever...drive 56 mph on a 55 mph freeway in a sporty red convertible.'

Caution: Construction workers standing around and drinking coffee.

'Any chance of a ploughman's?'

"Any references?"

'Every time we clear all the snow another blizzard hits. We're cursed men Frank. Cursed!'

Toxic Waste Lorry/Toxic Additives Lorry

"Is it me, or are these potholes getting worse?"

Snow Plow Driver Relaxing at Home.

Men working (part time).

Jackson Pollock's brief career with the highway department

'At 11:35 it's the SLOW sign. At 11:39, the STOP sign. At 11:43 it's back to the SLOW sign. At 11:49 you break for lunch. At 1:00 it's the STOP sign...'

"On your mark! Get set!"

Man in car sees fallen sign on the hood of his car which says, CAUTION sign-holding road worker falls asleep.

Using teamwork to paint a lamppost.

'I don't suppose you're just writing me a Valentine?'

Speed Limit Enforced from Aircraft.

You observed me speeding? Are you familiar with the Heisenberg uncertainty principle?

Trading Places.

"Ma'am, do you know how well you were driving?"

"60 may be the new 50 in the fantasy land you live in, but here in the real world, it's called exceeding the speed limit."

"Wow! You really pulled out all the stops."

Temporarily closed for resurfacing.

'Can you spare a cup, for the bottom of my bird cage?'

'Maybe you had the radar screen upside down and it was a plane...'

Self Serve Road Repair.

'Okay, but for future reference; We never grit the ice in here.'

Leading Economic Indicator.

"Now do you believe me about the size of the potholes...?"

"...Apparently we're responsible for snow removal on that stretch of highway we adopted."

"Do you know why we pulled you over today, sir?"

A cheese grader