Highway Maintenance Staff Gifts

Men at Work

'Do you have any highways that Angelina Jolie or Madonna haven't adopted?'

'Someone's got to do something about these pot-holes!'

'Heirloom Tiffany Lamp Delivery. I Brake for Everything.'

'Never, Ever...drive 56 mph on a 55 mph freeway in a sporty red convertible.'

Caution: Construction workers standing around and drinking coffee.

'Any chance of a ploughman's?'

"Is it me, or are these potholes getting worse?"

'Every time we clear all the snow another blizzard hits. We're cursed men Frank. Cursed!'

Men working (part time).

Snow Plow Driver Relaxing at Home.

Painter removes 'wet paint' sign from park bench and replaces it with a 'dry paint' sign.

Jackson Pollock's brief career with the highway department

'At 11:35 it's the SLOW sign. At 11:39, the STOP sign. At 11:43 it's back to the SLOW sign. At 11:49 you break for lunch. At 1:00 it's the STOP sign...'

Man in car sees fallen sign on the hood of his car which says, CAUTION sign-holding road worker falls asleep.

"On your mark! Get set!"

Using teamwork to paint a lamppost.

'I don't suppose you're just writing me a Valentine?'

You observed me speeding? Are you familiar with the Heisenberg uncertainty principle?

Speed Limit Enforced from Aircraft.

'Maybe you had the radar screen upside down and it was a plane...'

"60 may be the new 50 in the fantasy land you live in, but here in the real world, it's called exceeding the speed limit."

"Wow! You really pulled out all the stops."

'Can you spare a cup, for the bottom of my bird cage?'

"Ma'am, do you know how well you were driving?"

Trading Places.

Temporarily closed for resurfacing.

'No more mergers until I get this one cleaned up.'

Self Serve Road Repair.

"Now do you believe me about the size of the potholes...?"

Leading Economic Indicator.

'Okay, but for future reference; We never grit the ice in here.'

"...Apparently we're responsible for snow removal on that stretch of highway we adopted."

A cheese grader

Cleaner in a museum getting scared by the exhibits.