High-wire Hopeful Gifts

'But Mum, I've got to practise if I want to join a circus when I grow up!'

A slice of bread walks a tightrope between slots on the toaster.

'Anything is possible in our great country, son. If an Afro-American can become president, a white man can become a pro basketball player.'

'You know, just because they ask, doesn't mean you have to let them fly.'

'Hey guys?. . . Help us think what Dale could do for his '15 minutes of fame.''

Not The Real Me

"It's a battle of wills - I'm refusing to do anything for his 'funny cat videos' web page."

"The Flying Wallendas at home"

"I promised myself I would never let this happen to me."

Tightrope Walker

The stilt walkers union on strike

Waiting to be discovered, or taken to work, whichever comes first...

Maps to the Hovels of Would Be Stars.

'I told my teacher I won't be returning to school...'

High wire performer has to stop at traffic lights for crossing trapeze artists.

"Boy, first class sure looks good."

"That's Ruffles, our I.Q.-sniffing dog."

I'm only a part time waiter, I'm really an actor...You may have seen me at the movies. Maybe, where do you sit?

'There I was, balanced on the wire, juggling balls like crazy when this yo-yo in the crowd hits me in the eye with a peanut.'

"There's got to be a better way to break into show business than appearing on Hot Ones."

'You're on our shortlist. It's between you and the bloke who's going to get the job.'

I can't read, Jackass!

"The school psychologist says that I'm totally stupid and free of any talent. Great, that's the best qualification to become a superstar!"

'No, I still haven't gotten around to making my 'to-do' list yet. . .'

Walking a fine line of debt.

'...Your high wire act isn't that impressive.'

Man about jogger on high wire: 'It must be that 'runner's high' that I've heard about.'

'Darn! Restless Leg Syndrome!'

"I have to try this before I die."