High-wire Hopeful T-Shirts

'But Mum, I've got to practise if I want to join a circus when I grow up!'

A slice of bread walks a tightrope between slots on the toaster.

'You know, just because they ask, doesn't mean you have to let them fly.'

'Anything is possible in our great country, son. If an Afro-American can become president, a white man can become a pro basketball player.'

Mr. K's essay is such a drag! Yeah, but I've got to do really well. Twig! You're such a grind! Am not! Life isn't only about grades. I know! But he's directing the spring musical. And my singing won't get me the part all by itself! English: Gateway to the Grammys.

'Hey guys?. . . Help us think what Dale could do for his '15 minutes of fame.''

The Quack Quack Diaries: Quack Quack Writes A Top Ten Hit

Not The Real Me

"It's a battle of wills - I'm refusing to do anything for his 'funny cat videos' web page."

"The Flying Wallendas at home"

"I promised myself I would never let this happen to me."

Waiting to be discovered, or taken to work, whichever comes first...

Tightrope Walker

The stilt walkers union on strike

No, Carl, I don't know of a cure for the hiccups.

The sooner you stop freaking out, the sooner I can take the pic.

'I told my teacher I won't be returning to school...'

High wire performer has to stop at traffic lights for crossing trapeze artists.

Maps to the Hovels of Would Be Stars.

"Boy, first class sure looks good."

"That's Ruffles, our I.Q.-sniffing dog."

"There's got to be a better way to break into show business than appearing on Hot Ones."

'There I was, balanced on the wire, juggling balls like crazy when this yo-yo in the crowd hits me in the eye with a peanut.'

I'm only a part time waiter, I'm really an actor...You may have seen me at the movies. Maybe, where do you sit?

'Yes, well I wasn't wearing a harness like that Niagara Falls Wallenda wimp!'

Talent Agent. When she promised to find a breakout acting role for me, I didn't know she was talking about an acne control product commercial.

'You're on our shortlist. It's between you and the bloke who's going to get the job.'

I can't read, Jackass!

"The school psychologist says that I'm totally stupid and free of any talent. Great, that's the best qualification to become a superstar!"

"My name is Shirley and I'll be signing 'My Heart Will Go On.'"

'No, I still haven't gotten around to making my 'to-do' list yet. . .'

Walking a fine line of debt.

'...Your high wire act isn't that impressive.'

Man about jogger on high wire: 'It must be that 'runner's high' that I've heard about.'

'Darn! Restless Leg Syndrome!'