High-wire Enthusiast Gifts

'Darn! Restless Leg Syndrome!'

A slice of bread walks a tightrope between slots on the toaster.

It's a male thing - I saw a toaster with power assist, and I bought it.

"The Flying Wallendas at home"

"Jeepers, what happened to your power cord?"

Life in the Fast Lane.

'Hand me that gizmo, will you please?'

'Being the first to experiment with the latest technology has its drawbacks.'

"You'll be on the road most days, but when you do come in, this will be your docking station."

'At the moment, it's only weakness is flypaper.' - (spyplane research dept.)

Tightrope Walker

The stilt walkers union on strike

'But Mum, I've got to practise if I want to join a circus when I grow up!'

High wire performer has to stop at traffic lights for crossing trapeze artists.

'What do you mean, I'm unapproachable?'

'There I was, balanced on the wire, juggling balls like crazy when this yo-yo in the crowd hits me in the eye with a peanut.'

"Profession?"

The first sign of cowboy trouble.

"*Sigh* these smart appliances always know when it's tax refund time."

Support Oppression - Do Nothing

"We've started him in The Loose Connections Department."

"Relax, sir. I'm a professional driver and this is a closed course."

Walking a fine line of debt.

Man on wire balancing while carrying big stones.

Man about jogger on high wire: 'It must be that 'runner's high' that I've heard about.'

"I have to try this before I die."

'Look, Bernie's doing his high wire act!'

"You didn't tell me Tuscany doesn't have cable."

'Hey Dan, your dog' stealing our cable again.'