High Wire Admirer Gifts

Man on wire balancing while carrying big stones.

'Look, Bernie's doing his high wire act!'

A slice of bread walks a tightrope between slots on the toaster.

"My calculations are complete. We could toast 12,000 marshmallows every day for every person on earth for 36,000 years with one solar flare."

'Will you marry me, Gloria?'

Mass Travel

"If we ca change our altitude we can change out attitude."

"Things look good but let's run a few more tests since mortality runs in your family."

'That's interesting -- I seem to have discovered the gene that makes people want to become geneticists.'

"Ever killed a man?"

Opera singer singing to her partner who is wearing a gas mask on due to her bad breath.

"We've discovered intelligent life in Outer Space, based on how geeky they look."

'Honey, it's me! If you want to marry me, please press 1!'

"She massages egos."

"I just love the reactions I get every day when I come to work."

'Wow, thanks for putting it into context. My 42-inch plasma really is obsolete.'

"It's the part about 60 take-offs and 54 landings that worries us."

'Why don't you look at ME that way?'

'There's really no need for confusion. Page 95, section 33, paragraph L clearly explains ...'

'He hasn't done anything yet, it's just with all this gear on, he can't stand up!'

High wire performer has to stop at traffic lights for crossing trapeze artists.

Flat pack sales assistant

Little Jimmy Harmon: first to amplify the sparerib

"Whatever it is, it's very, very little."

'Wait...that's not a gray chested black wing hawk, that's a drone.'

'I've willed my body to science when I die.'

Plane Rescue

"HDTV?"

Cat being blown from tuba

"And one with no bun."

'You'll find that when you're seen on a million-volt electron microscope, you really want to look your best.'