X-ray Admirer Gifts

'Phwoar! Full frontal cortex.'

"Things look good but let's run a few more tests since mortality runs in your family."

'I pledge allegiance to the atom, and to the periodic table on which it stands, many particles indivisible, with orbitals and electrons for all.'

"Would you please step back to the machine while I make an adjustment?"

"Hello, Pine Grove Elementary? Could you tell Miss Pritchard to come to Lakeview Veterinarian Clinic right away?"

Watch the skies: UFO buffs all stare at the sky, yet alien is amongst them.

Employee of the Month Parking

"We used up our planet's energy source and we're here to hijack yours. Where do you keep all your coffee?"

Bot Art: After da Vinci

"I'm looking for something really dull and repetitive."

"Hurry, stop him!" (Dog running off with bone from man's x-ray).

Robot Painter

A sun opens its mouth to eat a burning Earth

'Gee!' (doctor looking at x-ray)

"My calculations are complete. We could toast 12,000 marshmallows every day for every person on earth for 36,000 years with one solar flare."

The Male Atom: Sex, Sport, War and Good Intentions.

'True it does have small flowers but through the microscope its exquisite.'

"Why are all of your answers so mechanical?"

How's your nephew doing in human school this year? Great! He has a calculator and spell checker like last year, and this fall new features have been added. With new translation software he can take language classes now, and for social studies he just clicks "history." Bonjour! I'm so proud! He has the school's highest G.P.A.! Other students can't copy off him anymore because he started using encrypted code. His favorite upgrade is the enhanced ability to process school lunches. He's bee

Employee of the Month

'Will you marry me, Gloria?'

"Shouldn't have, you really."

'Good News. Further x-rays revealed the big shadow on your lung to your stomach.'

'Luckily, it doesn't look too serious.'

'It just dawned on me that every time we make a phone call, it's a robocall.'

"Sure, he has artificial intelligence, but it's his artificial empathy that won me over."

'That's interesting -- I seem to have discovered the gene that makes people want to become geneticists.'

"The difference between us and them is...they can be reproduced by unskilled labour."

"Ever killed a man?"

"What is it Doc, I can handle it."

"Who's the new guy?"

"They're talking about birdhouses again. Time to send them birdhouse ads."

'The really scary part is that he is the new head of human resources.'

'That must be my computer date.'

"My 'check engine' light came on."