X-ray Admirer Pillows

"Things look good but let's run a few more tests since mortality runs in your family."

'I pledge allegiance to the atom, and to the periodic table on which it stands, many particles indivisible, with orbitals and electrons for all.'

"Would you please step back to the machine while I make an adjustment?"

Watch the skies: UFO buffs all stare at the sky, yet alien is amongst them.

Bot Art: After da Vinci

Employee of the Month Parking

"I'm looking for something really dull and repetitive."

"Hurry, stop him!" (Dog running off with bone from man's x-ray).

'Gee!' (doctor looking at x-ray)

Robot Painter

"My calculations are complete. We could toast 12,000 marshmallows every day for every person on earth for 36,000 years with one solar flare."

A sun opens its mouth to eat a burning Earth

The Male Atom: Sex, Sport, War and Good Intentions.

'Will you marry me, Gloria?'

Employee of the Month

"Shouldn't have, you really."

'True it does have small flowers but through the microscope its exquisite.'

"Why are all of your answers so mechanical?"

'Good News. Further x-rays revealed the big shadow on your lung to your stomach.'

'It just dawned on me that every time we make a phone call, it's a robocall.'

'Luckily, it doesn't look too serious.'

"Sure, he has artificial intelligence, but it's his artificial empathy that won me over."

"The difference between us and them is...they can be reproduced by unskilled labour."

'That's interesting -- I seem to have discovered the gene that makes people want to become geneticists.'

"Ever killed a man?"

"What is it Doc, I can handle it."

"Who's the new guy?"

"My 'check engine' light came on."

'The really scary part is that he is the new head of human resources.'

Orthopaedist

'That must be my computer date.'

"Look, I'm doing the human!"

'I am not a robot.'