X-ray Lover Pillows

'Melvin!'

"Would you please step back to the machine while I make an adjustment?"

"Hello, Pine Grove Elementary? Could you tell Miss Pritchard to come to Lakeview Veterinarian Clinic right away?"

"Hurry, stop him!" (Dog running off with bone from man's x-ray).

'Gee!' (doctor looking at x-ray)

Roentgen tries to figure out what he's discovered.

'Good News. Further x-rays revealed the big shadow on your lung to your stomach.'

"Things look good but let's run a few more tests since mortality runs in your family."

'Luckily, it doesn't look too serious.'

"Should be back soon. He's just out catching a few x-rays."

"What is it Doc, I can handle it."

"How the hell should I know what I'm looking at? You're lousy insurance doesn't provide HD X-rays."

"Hmm, well, I wouldn't worry too much. This condition is very common in your profession."

"No wonder I'm getting feedback!"

Orthopaedist

'I don't like the looks of this - there's nothing wrong.'

'Phwoar! Full frontal cortex.'

Why dogs are not hired to do bone scans

"I don't like the looks of that Spot on your lung."

I owe you an apology for not believing you have back pain.

"The good news is your back surgery has healed perfectly. However, it looks like you may have to go back for a second exorcism!"

'As you can see, the CAT scan of your brain turned up positive.'

"Trust me I'm a Doctor."

'Good news! Your positives look negative.'

'I don't want surgery...can you just touch up the x-rays?'

So, what did my x-rays reveal, Doctor? Oddly enough, beneath your finished ink drawing, there was a rough sketch in blue pencil.

'It's so rare you'll need your own teleton.'

'Billy, no! Midterms are tomorrow!'

"You car pool guys will be going down together for x-rays."

"And then I said 'Don't worry, this is perfectly safe!' Ha, ha!"

'Your X-Rays are here. . . beautiful high-resolution!'

"Were the x-rays really necessary?"

"But the good news is I've found my watch!"

Alcoholic's X-Ray

'You're right - the dog did eat your homework.'