X-ray Vision Aficionados Pillows

"I'm a freelance radiologist."

"Would you please step back to the machine while I make an adjustment?"

"Hurry, stop him!" (Dog running off with bone from man's x-ray).

'Good News. Further x-rays revealed the big shadow on your lung to your stomach.'

"Things look good but let's run a few more tests since mortality runs in your family."

"Should be back soon. He's just out catching a few x-rays."

"What is it Doc, I can handle it."

"No wonder I'm getting feedback!"

Orthopaedist

"Hmm, well, I wouldn't worry too much. This condition is very common in your profession."

'I don't like the looks of this - there's nothing wrong.'

Why dogs are not hired to do bone scans

'Phwoar! Full frontal cortex.'

"I don't like the looks of that Spot on your lung."

I owe you an apology for not believing you have back pain.

'As you can see, the CAT scan of your brain turned up positive.'

"Trust me I'm a Doctor."

'Good news! Your positives look negative.'

Alcoholic's X-Ray

'I don't want surgery...can you just touch up the x-rays?'

'It's so rare you'll need your own teleton.'

"But the good news is I've found my watch!"

"Were the x-rays really necessary?"

'Your X-Rays are here. . . beautiful high-resolution!'

"And then I said 'Don't worry, this is perfectly safe!' Ha, ha!"

'Billy, no! Midterms are tomorrow!'

"You car pool guys will be going down together for x-rays."

So, what did my x-rays reveal, Doctor? Oddly enough, beneath your finished ink drawing, there was a rough sketch in blue pencil.

'You're right - the dog did eat your homework.'

Tunnel of Anxiety

'I don't see the problem.'

'Sit down, Dave. You're not impressing anyone with your new laser-eye treatment.'

'Gee!'

"It's the modern dentist's name for x-rays."

X-Raying Christmas Presents