High Wire Admirer T-Shirts

Man on wire balancing while carrying big stones.

'Look, Bernie's doing his high wire act!'

A slice of bread walks a tightrope between slots on the toaster.

Another Turning Point in the Industrial Revolution. Ford Motor Co. On second thought, let's put the cars on the conveyor belt.

"My calculations are complete. We could toast 12,000 marshmallows every day for every person on earth for 36,000 years with one solar flare."

Mass Travel

'Will you marry me, Gloria?'

"If we ca change our altitude we can change out attitude."

"Things look good but let's run a few more tests since mortality runs in your family."

'That's interesting -- I seem to have discovered the gene that makes people want to become geneticists.'

"Ever killed a man?"

Opera singer singing to her partner who is wearing a gas mask on due to her bad breath.

"We've discovered intelligent life in Outer Space, based on how geeky they look."

'Phwoar! Full frontal cortex.'

'Honey, it's me! If you want to marry me, please press 1!'

Voting is about to start and they're campaigning furiously down there. The DNA is discussing policy in depth. DNA has detailed plans. The carbon dioxide is complaining about the negative press coverage its getting, and the chlorophyll is pushing a green agenda. The individual atom candidates are receiving lots of attention --- their truthfulness is being questioned. Voters must have heard that "atoms make up everything"!

"I just love the reactions I get every day when I come to work."

"She massages egos."

'Wow, thanks for putting it into context. My 42-inch plasma really is obsolete.'

"It's the part about 60 take-offs and 54 landings that worries us."

The sooner you stop freaking out, the sooner I can take the pic.

Bio Lab. I see some shiny things down there. They must be chrome-o-somes!

'Why don't you look at ME that way?'

'He hasn't done anything yet, it's just with all this gear on, he can't stand up!'

Flat pack sales assistant

High wire performer has to stop at traffic lights for crossing trapeze artists.

'There's really no need for confusion. Page 95, section 33, paragraph L clearly explains ...'

Little Jimmy Harmon: first to amplify the sparerib

"Whatever it is, it's very, very little."

'Wait...that's not a gray chested black wing hawk, that's a drone.'

Plane Rescue

'I've willed my body to science when I die.'

Cat being blown from tuba

"HDTV?"

"And one with no bun."