High School Throwback Gifts

'Burl's on a diet. . . his high school class reunion is this Friday.'

"Now, my brave little soldier, do you have everything...an apple for your teacher, your satchel, pencils and books - your existential misery??"

"Back in my day, kids had a little respect for the law of gravity."

Principal: You are here, and you should be ashamed of yourself.

Why does every kid want the wallet size? School picture, early days.

"...and smoking is forbidden behind the scooter shed"

Do Not Pass. Just like high school.

"Okay, there's one thing I like about school starting. I have a girlfriend this year."

Naughty schoolboys fight behind teacher's back in old fashioned school.

"My parents taught me stuff until I was six, and then they outsourced me to Central Elementary."

The Presidential Physical Fitness Test

Teacher to other about hot dog vendor: 'Since when have we allowed that dude in the building?'

'When I was your age, an 'A' did not stand for 'adequate'.'

Bell ringer.

"I can never remember whether children are to be seen and not heard or the other way around."

Balding eagle looking back through his yearbook.

'Teachers' Dreams.' 'Young man, either you remove your hand from under her sweater or I will remove it your arm.'

"I've been able to pay attention a lot more in class since the teacher separated us."

"Is it okay if I dissect this ham sandwich?"

The boss is sending me back to school.

'I guess my love for Miss Rogers is over...I passed third grade.'

Back to School Supplies - 1928 'A new hat?!!' 2006 - 'There's more in the car.'

"I was just transferred to the fraternity word."

Boys at Leisure

'Trade you my Doggie Cola for tour Toilet Water Drink Box.'

School janitor empties numbers out of math room waste basket.

'I was only promoted to fourth grade ten minutes ago, and I've already wiped third grade out of my mind.'

Prom 2020

'These are the happiest years of my life, eh? -- you obviously haven't met my algebra teacher!'

"You don't bring me apples anymore."

"I'm old school. Pass me a handwritten note."

Scanning documents

'I hate to quit school, Mrs. Wiggins, but I got a better offer.'

"You've really blotted your copy book this time Higgins!"

"I'm starting to think being class clown was a bad career move."