College Throwbacker Gifts

"I was just transferred to the fraternity word."

Go team!

What've you been up to since college, Lemont? Oh, I became a journalist … had a kid, blah blah … but I wanna hear about you, Rudy. Grigori Rasputin. How've you been all these years? How's your Uncle Mort? Are you a Russian spy? Boop boop boop. How'd that stomach-tumble-translator startup you founded in the nineties go? Wait ... what did you say you became? What do they have on President Trump? How's your cat? Boop.

"Now, my brave little soldier, do you have everything...an apple for your teacher, your satchel, pencils and books - your existential misery??"

'You talk about her so much. Why don't you invite that Alma Mater of yours to dinner sometime?'

Why does every kid want the wallet size? School picture, early days.

'I don't know what it is. I think it's some kind of old-fashioned cell phone.'

"I'm beginning to doubt your computer skills, Frank. I was kind of okay with the bigger RAM, but your video card upgrade is from Blockbuster!"

'Trade you my Doggie Cola for tour Toilet Water Drink Box.'

"You've really blotted your copy book this time Higgins!"

I'll take you two on a trip. Where do you want to go? What are the choices? An old college friend has a lakeside cabin, another has a beach place. And � One has a horse farm we could visit. Wow! Inspirational! Yeah. Finally! A good reason to go to college. The better the school, the better the vacation house.

"How's your spring break going, Jerry?"

"This is a weird frat."

"Time capsule 1994"

Classic Early 2020 Throwbacks

"I went to my college class reunion. Everyone else is unemployed."

There's always one.

'Burl's on a diet. . . his high school class reunion is this Friday.'

"I need time off to go back to college and party. Fraternity leave"

'You'll never forget your college experience, though grades indicate you've tried.'

"Don't be scared! I'm just wearing this old x-ray gear for throwback Thursday."

I'm not interested in buying new technology. What's wrong with me? Don't worry. I went through a brief period in college where I wasn't attracted to women. I didn't want to date or even have flings. It was a dark, horrible abyss that felt like it would never, ever end! How is this helping? Red Maxim repeatedly until it passes.

"I played polo in college."

"Yes, I still wear my Harvard ring. It helps when I slug someone."

Brett Beer: It's the best beer to ever make me ralph. And I've ralphed a lot.

A schoolboy cricket team group photo.

'I'm afraid all those goldfish you swallowed back in college have finally caught up with you.'

"I see you went to college on a wrestling scholarship."

"He's mad because this school doesn't have a football team, bars, or restaurants."

"I tried some in college, but I never inhaled."

"I think I'd rather fight you again than go in there!"

"It was a party school."

'I'll get my dad to beat up your dad.'

"Do you think it's possible for time to stand still?" "Sure, I repeated the second grade."