High School Athlete Pillows

"In high school, I was quite the star in metal shop."

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, son. Someday you might sign autographs for money.'

'Another football scholarship offer?'

Exam

Pregnant Cheerleaders,

I love your enthusiasm, girls, but we're not opening a can of whoop-ANYTHING.

Come on! They're posting the spring musical. I can't wait! I want a romantic part! With and elegant gown. Good luck with that! We're doing "Cats."

PROBLEM AREAS

Exercising

Baseball batting cage theater La Cage Aux Folles.

"I got an 'A' - and all my research was from infomercials."

"I started a collection!"

'The dog ate my homework -- I thought maybe you could X-ray him.'

'Yeah, I don't have trouble remembering my times tables, but I stink at algebra...'

In addition to brilliant grades and perfect SATs � Parents' night. College admissions. Your child should excel at 3 sports and lead a school extra-curricular like the newspaper. Don't the arts count? Sure! If your child sings, for example � A part on 'Glee' or in the Metropolitan Opera would certainly help. Our kids are doomed.

"I got an 'A' for my anti-gravity science project!"

The team video didn't spotlight my talents. I've hired my own film crew. They'll showcase my skills so college recruiters can see my strengths. Wow! How can the director pack so much into one little video? Great point! Daddy? Tell Steven Spielberg we're going feature length. Nice save!

Lost Season

'Between the school assignments, sports classes, and dance lessons, I hardly have any time to spend with my dolls.'

Future Wrestler

'I have a math test tomorrow, Sir, and I could use a godsend multiplicationwise.'

Child stands on Math help books to reach blackboard.

"I got an A in not being annoying!"

Our coaches are from top college teams. Questions. Why aren't you in training? Sports Camp. Rotator cuff injury. Concussion. Back surgery. Counselor. Ok, campers. Let's show them what you've got! Excellent health insurance card representation!

Enrollment limited to college varsity athletes.

"I got the highest grade in the class, except the giraffe."

Student to kid: 'School first, then Mount Everest.'

The Thurston State Hornets make their entry onto the field.

'Straight A's. That means good.'

"This has been quite a season for Zobrowsky—a hundred an twenty-nine receptions, sixteen touchdowns, a B-plus in English, a B in philosophy, an A in political science, and a B-minus in French!"

'Right now my plate's full juggling school and parents.'

Hey, Twig! Ryan Beardsley wants your cell phone number! The divine wonder of West Fester High? Finally! My life changes for the better. He needs activities for his college apps and wants to come to our shortest eco-club cleanup. Change you can believe in. West Fester High School.

"It helps to read a grade level ahead!"

Prom Theme: Coronavirus

'Miss Harrison said it's a better report than the ones you used to get when you were in her class.'