High School Sports Pillows

Are all these kids here with sports injuries? Yes. Wow. The doctor must hate high school athletics. Are you kidding? Thanks for your co-pay! He's their biggest booster! Ka-ching!

Pregnant Cheerleaders,

"In high school, I was quite the star in metal shop."

"Still, diving for it would look good on my college application.

Go team!

"College basketball recruiters are after him."

"Check it out! In nature, females are in charge...they select their mates!"

'He always tees off like that. He used to throw the discus in college.'

Come on! They're posting the spring musical. I can't wait! I want a romantic part! With and elegant gown. Good luck with that! We're doing "Cats."

PROBLEM AREAS

In addition to brilliant grades and perfect SATs � Parents' night. College admissions. Your child should excel at 3 sports and lead a school extra-curricular like the newspaper. Don't the arts count? Sure! If your child sings, for example � A part on 'Glee' or in the Metropolitan Opera would certainly help. Our kids are doomed.

Jumping cheerleaders

Cheerleaders

The Giamatti era

'Play any other position besides Monday morning quarterback?'

College game crowd: 'WE WON',,,'and that somehow makes you superior'

Basketball Tourney. Ernie, you're crushing everybody in the office basketball pool! You've picked the winner of every game so far! It's amazing because you don't know a thing about basketball. For you, picking the winner of every tournament game is like correctly guessing a coin flip sixty seven times in a row! No, I have a system! It seems everybody has an opinion about the tourney so I listened to what my investment advisor thought about the teams. And with his record of picking winners

'I've decided to skip my senior year and go directly into an endless cycle of unrealistic expectations and failure.'

"Homework! Homework! Homework! I'll be doing this for hours! Talk about a misspent youth."

Baseball players and their qualifications.

Don't make me look! How do you like my prom dress? Don't make me look! Chill, dad, it's Nana's old dress. It isn't revealing, Honey. It's no the old dress. It's my old little girl I can't look at!

"I attempted to circumvent the traditional trappings of a teen furlough...but I was thwarted by my czar-ish parental unit."

The Thurston State Hornets make their entry onto the field.

Tax What?!

"Don’t worry. You’re looking at the Frederick H. Tuttle Middle School long-jump champion."

Thanks for the lift, Nana. Don't get any big ideas about acting. It's just a high school musical. I guess you aren't coming back to see the show. Correct. Tonight! Cats! Spring musical. That's ok. Slam! I'm parking now to get a front row seat!

Coach Prime Cleans House

I'm trying out for the spring play. You'll be great! Ha! You'll be grateful to be an usher, Meryl Creep. Yeah. The good parts go to real actors. Sigh. The arts are sooo uplifting.

'I'm at that awkward age when I can't read my own handwriting. Do they teach penmanship in college?'

"Stop the clowning, Johnson. The final isn't going to be all that bad."

'Ring around the rosey ...'

'I'm just your average suburban gladiator mum.'

Hey, Twig! Ryan Beardsley wants your cell phone number! The divine wonder of West Fester High? Finally! My life changes for the better. He needs activities for his college apps and wants to come to our shortest eco-club cleanup. Change you can believe in. West Fester High School.

It's unlikely the "Deadly Sins" team from Hades University will go far in the basketball tourney. Wrath is suspended for arguing with the refs and sloth always skips practice. Pride puts too much pressure on himself and greed won't risk an injury that would blow his chances for a pro contract. Lust is distracted by the cheerleaders and Envy wants the shots all the other players are getting. Gluttony is the only player thriving in the tournament spotlight. Yeah, he just eats up all the atten

So you're wearing a bag over your head because you're ashamed of your team?' 'It's a cloaking device.'