High Flyers Gifts

Pole vaulter gets stuck - there are birds sitting on the bar staring at him.

Pilot with champagne.

Flight attendant piloting Santa's sleigh.

"Passengers, as we begin our descent, you may now suddenly act open and friendly to the person beside you."

'I feel like my ears are about to pop.'

'You know, just because they ask, doesn't mean you have to let them fly.'

Private Jet

'Dad, may I use the plane tonight?'

Technique #54 airlines are adopting for handling excessive carry on luggage.

Excess Baggage: Airlines are constantly working on new seating configurations.

Technological Dependence.

'Keep repeating to yourself: I am a high flyer, I will not dive for the salmon.'

Crop duster wanted.

"Okay, ha ha, now seriously...Where's the rest of the nuts?"

'I'm just here on a lay-over.'

'... Of course, I had to train for this job. I went to sundae school.'

"Hell: The Airport"

"We are now boarding priority travellers. Please be ready to present an air of entitlement."

"As a courtesy for the inconvenience, please accept a voucher for three additional hours of your life, redeemable upon your death."

Skip the TSA scans by wearing a Burka

Missing you.

"I know what the airlines charge to check a bag is outrageous, but. . ."

Flight: Select your spot.

Couple putting baby through the scanner.

'Could you throw me the car keys?'

'They're out there, they swallow your stuff, and who're you gonna call?'

'I wouldn't be so concerned if they weren't already sitting in the exit row.'

'Ah, Reeves - it's lonely on top!'

"He keeps touching me!"

'The pilot has collapsed! Does anyone here know how to fly?'

Airplane Seatbelts

Base jumper being filmed about to jump off a building.

"Well that's just great!! I guess we really are flightless birds now!!"

'Welcome to crash-test flight 000.Please take your seat.'

The Chippendales go through airport security.