Hidden Comedian Gifts

'Inside Ralph is a comedienne crying to get out.'

"Again? This is the last time I'm letting you wear the pants with the little zipper."

Child laughs while making farting sound under arm. Dad says, 'Isn't it nice when they find something they're good at?

"Have you been eating the paste again, Todd?"

'And at what stage did you realise the ball you were heading was on the TV?'

'The results of your physical exam are fine, except for your reflexes: They're more 'dog-like' than 'cat-like'.'

Gifts from the House of Low Goals.

'He said I have no cavities and that my breath knocked his socks off.'

'You sloth and gluttony guys have it easy -- I'm here for envy!'

"The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil clowns is that good clowns do nothing."

"He can never take anything serious. Everything's a joke."

"If I wanted your opinion I would have hauled you in for questioning."

'...Plus $847.93 for replacing our front door....'

Bloke orders a pizza as Jesus divides the loafs and fishes

"Larry does all his own stunts."

Ventriloquism For Beginners.

"Ahhh! Ha-ha! Exactly what I said when I was pulled over. Dipstick!"

"Well they are fake ducks, Honey, but not quite decoyish enough."

"Oh, sorry—I think I just butt-summoned you."

Bathing and Showering.

"Repeat after me... We are vegan... We are vegan..."

Canoeing Incorrectly

"I'm kind of a big deal in antisocial media."

"I blacked out for ten minutes this morning - Then I realised I had put my hoodie on backwards."

"Thank you for participating in this poll, but because your answers do not coincide with your social media rantings, you're obviously lying."

A frat party at an online university

And what will it be today? The mask of comedy or tragedy?

"Maybe you just can't tell a joke."

'You can't come in to play unless you wear cushions on your feet - My Dad's got a headache!'

'That filet mignon was supposed to be your last meal? Whoops-a-daisy!'

Stealth grazing.

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