Hidden Artist Gifts

Deep in his heart James the accountant was an artist. Sometimes when he was alone in his office, he worked the keyboard like a pianist playing the Goldberg variations.

'Now that I have your attention...'

"I invited a few friends over who think you should see a psychiatrist."

'Inside Ralph is a comedienne crying to get out.'

Private Viewing

Woman sat at desk whilst her shadow does her dream career of being an artist.

'It wasn't premeditated.

'So this is what you do while I'm away,'

"Apparently he only uses fugitive colours."

"Ok, maybe a surprise party wasn't the best idea."

"I detect an accent – money?"

Art Museum: Our exhibit of forgotten masters continues with What's His Name...

Invisible throng murmuring appreciation of invisible art at London's Hayward Gallery.

'You said you went to night classes to draw birds, and when I asked whether they had clothes on and you said they didn't - you know I didn't expect this!'

Old man stealing sand from a sand box for child

"That? - oh my husband - a closet bricklayer."

"We can thank Hippocrates for changing healing from an occult art to a science."

Pianist Fraud

"Harold is a closet intellectual and he's never coming out."

Shark Bomb

A statue of a baseball player swinging a bat stands next to a building with a broken glass window.

"If they find out I'm a flight attendant pretend a heart attack so we can leave early."

Sweet Old Lady with jogging shoes and running number.

Hair trigger

'During my trip around the World, I took some pictures with this new digital camera... here is my finger covering the lens in Sidney... here in New York... Rome... Lisbon... Hamburg...'

"They told me I was going places. They just never told me where."

'Yes sir, been deer hunting for nigh on forty years. Ain't nuthin' I don't know about...say, don't I know you from somewhere?'

Mimes rescuing a mime from the 6th floor of a burning invisible building

Monk with accordion hidden in his robes.

"Excuse me. I can't find the camouflage clothing."

'It's amazing how you do it? Fade into the background and go unnoticed like you don't even exist?'

The stag at bay.

'That would be your perfect job...paid to do nothing!'

"This is astounding, Al. You never struck me as a jaiku kind of a guy."