Hesitation Humorist Gifts

"Exactly how undecided would you say you were at this precise moment?"

Ice Cream Surgeon

Welcome Spring.

'They're being damn noisy in the hospitality box next door,'

'I'll set snooze for an extra month.'

Newfangled contraceptions phobia: 'David, David, we're sinking! Our water bed has sprung a leak!'

Worries of the first single cell organism. Should I divide? Maybe I won't like my other self! Maybe it won't like me! Two might be nice company. Three, though, that could be crowded.

"I've thought about what you said, about how plate tectonics will kill us all!"

'It feels warm enough to me.'

"The answers to the questions you seek could also be found on Google."

"What, exactly, did you say to the maître d'?"

"At Hooters I'd already have three compliments on my tie!"

'Lovely soup, just like my mother used to open.'

'Your ten percent tip.'

'What a bargain!'

Man tries to build a traditional Indian Guru bed using flatpack furniture.

Foot Massage

"It's not the walking — it's the waiting."

'I'm sorry, but the soup of the day was just tripped over by the employee of the month.'

'Waiter, there's a fly in my soup.'

"Psst! I got mantras. You need a mantra? Mantras right here..."

Wash hand before making sound of one hand clapping.

"Apologies for the delay. Your eggs Benedict should be up soon."

"The doctor's running late. Feel free to catch up on your binge watching with our waiting room TV."

'I'm trying to become enlightened, but my stomach keeps growling and interrupting me!'

'Before we begin, let's say a little prayer for humility.'

'That pest in 453 is being discharged.'

"If you hibernated you wouldn't have to worry about losing an hour's sleep to daylight savings."

"Since I heard there was a monster I can't sleep at night!"

"I always feel sorry for the kids who have birthdays during hibernation."

'Post-Hibernation Blues'

'Waiter! There's a . . . oh, never mind.'

'Thank you for the job offer, sir, but I find that unemployment helps keep me humble.'

"The planet appears to be inhabitable but more like low-income inhabitable."

'I'm being tested for sleep apnoea this winter: Better go, see you in spring...'