Hesitation Humorist Pillows

"Exactly how undecided would you say you were at this precise moment?"

Ice Cream Surgeon

Welcome Spring.

'They're being damn noisy in the hospitality box next door,'

'I'll set snooze for an extra month.'

'It feels warm enough to me.'

Newfangled contraceptions phobia: 'David, David, we're sinking! Our water bed has sprung a leak!'

"I've thought about what you said, about how plate tectonics will kill us all!"

"The answers to the questions you seek could also be found on Google."

'Lovely soup, just like my mother used to open.'

"What, exactly, did you say to the maître d'?"

"At Hooters I'd already have three compliments on my tie!"

'Your ten percent tip.'

'What a bargain!'

"Apologies for the delay. Your eggs Benedict should be up soon."

Foot Massage

"Psst! I got mantras. You need a mantra? Mantras right here..."

'Before we begin, let's say a little prayer for humility.'

'I'm trying to become enlightened, but my stomach keeps growling and interrupting me!'

"The doctor's running late. Feel free to catch up on your binge watching with our waiting room TV."

'I'm sorry, but the soup of the day was just tripped over by the employee of the month.'

'Waiter, there's a fly in my soup.'

Man tries to build a traditional Indian Guru bed using flatpack furniture.

"It's not the walking — it's the waiting."

'That pest in 453 is being discharged.'

'Post-Hibernation Blues'

"I always feel sorry for the kids who have birthdays during hibernation."

"Since I heard there was a monster I can't sleep at night!"

'Thank you for the job offer, sir, but I find that unemployment helps keep me humble.'

"The planet appears to be inhabitable but more like low-income inhabitable."

"If you hibernated you wouldn't have to worry about losing an hour's sleep to daylight savings."

'I'm being tested for sleep apnoea this winter: Better go, see you in spring...'

'We're really sorry!'