Hibernation Humorist Gifts

'I'm being tested for sleep apnoea this winter: Better go, see you in spring...'

'How would you like to try sleeping, when somebody's lying next to you snoring for six months?'

'I'll set snooze for an extra month.'

Welcome Spring.

After 5 months in hibernation, Clyde needed a real "pick-me-up"

"If you hibernated you wouldn't have to worry about losing an hour's sleep to daylight savings."

"It's not long-term commitment, Kyle! I'll move in just for the hibernation."

"Yeah, yeah, laugh! You see, my cave is dark, warm and damp, so every Spring, when I wake up, I'm covered in fungi..."

"What do you mean 'Just shut up and hibernate?!' It's New Year's Eve!"

The Hibernation Channel

'You'd be grouchy too if you awoke from a nice long nap and had to file income taxes.'

'Post-Hibernation Blues'

'What's up with the milk?'

'Gee, what's it been, Gary? Six months?'

'Yes, my teenage son sleeps a lot too: He didn't wake up until the start of summer...'

'These hibernation pills ought to do the trick.'

While you were hibernating.

'I woke up early from hibernation, so I watched TV for two weeks until my parents got up...'

Bear Alarm Clock

'And don't bother your father. He tossed and turned all winter.'

'I would love to learn to ski too, but when there's snow around, I'm usually asleep...'

"Great, you're out of hibernation: Let me fill you in on all the gossip..."

'That's it! It's mid-Spring and the Kellys already have tomatoes sprouting. If I need to shame you into waking up this year, well, I'll just bring them over to visit our garden.'

"I always feel sorry for the kids who have birthdays during hibernation."

Ice Cream Surgeon

"Suddenly, you’re a fan of New England stone work?"

"Exactly how undecided would you say you were at this precise moment?"

'They're being damn noisy in the hospitality box next door,'

Cross-country runners picking up water and spare batteries.

'It feels warm enough to me.'

"Me, I'm lazy, so I wouldn't seek an endless summer, but an endless winter. I so wish I could migrate to hibernate twice a year..."

Bed and Breakfast

Hydration

'I, Dom Perignon, will now uncork the very first bottle of Champagne. Of course, I'm just guessing this is the right way to do it.'

'Lovely soup, just like my mother used to open.'