Herpetology Gifts

'Is it true? You've been selling your venom to pharmaceutical companies to make anti-venom? Traitor!'

"Everything I eat goes straight to my ass."

"Nope, I'm squeezing as hard as I can, that is one stuck pig."

'Don't just sit there! Give me a hand!'

'To help you overcome your fear of snakes, I've arranged for you to give a public speech on the subject.'

Caution. Slow drivers ahead searching for snakes on the road.

If it's a really good deal, don't ask why. You don't want to know.

'Uh oh... cramp!'

'Lizards think they have it tough! They should slither a mile in our shoes!'

"This snake measures 24 inches."

'If that tongue leaves your mouth I'm gonna cut it off.'

Snake in desert: 'home, sweet home' Frog: 'kinda dry, isn't it?'

For the last time, Mr. Clooney - That's not what we do here.

'Yeah, hi, Bob...when you asked me to pop in and feet Spot, I was kind of under the impression he was a dog!'

''Rollover' is your new trick? Dude, what were you thinking?'

'Snakes are inquisitive creatures ,Miss Bingley.What worries me is ,has he eaten to-day ?'

"Sorry. Cash only."

'I think I see what the problem is, but I'll send you down for some X-rays just to make sure.'

Monitor Lizard.

'Hmph! I never buy re-tail!'

"Yes, I do have amazing jumping power but I only eat performance enhancing bugs."

The Annual Gathering of the Chameleons

'If it works, Andy, you can expect a visit from the skin fairy tonight, ready?'

Alright, who had the last toddler?

'OK you didn't eat the rabbit, I believe you; snakes are no strangers to plausible deniability.'

Rattlesnake Roundup: 'We need better PR!'

'I'm an amphibian on my mother's side and a reptile on my father's side.'

'You mean to ssssay we have sssspeach imedimentssss?'

"I'm fascinated by body language."

Dutch boy bitten by snake in hole in dyke.

Snake Dress-Up

"Hey, how come our names aren't on the plaque?"

'Why, you're right! His eyes are bulging!...

'Actually, Bert, that's a common mistake. This here's an alligator. Crocodiles have a more rounded, U-shaped snout.'

"You can hide, but you can't run."