Hermit-life Enthusiasts Gifts

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'You're through around here.. turn in your rubber donut!'

Excess Baggage: Some people take getting away from it all very seriously.

"Yes, I'm alone."

'It's a sign of the times, a high rise block of caves reserved for hermits.'

Talent, pluck, or plain dumb luck?

Dear Folks, it's lonely at the top.

"Yes, I'm the wise man who lives on the top of the mountain. And believe me, the surcharge for the pizza delivery service is insane!"

"Do you think solitude drives you insane?"

"You go on ahead. I'm going to hang out here for the next few months until everyone stops saying the word 'caucus.'"

"He's a super-calloused fragile mystic, hexed by halitosis."

"Living underground is not what it used to be."

Excess Baggage: Forcing your homebody spouse to accompany you on a business trip is generally not a great idea.

"I have 130 disciples following me on Twitter."

'Thank goodness, the publishers rejected my self help book.'

'I'm self isolating, you idiot!'

"You can just leave it on that crag, thanks."

'It's SUPPOSED to be quiet up here!'

"There's apparently another one of those rescue ships coming to take us back to civilisation. . . quick, let's hide!"

"It gets a tad crowded in winter when I share the cave with 100s of hibernating snakes."

'I told you that nobody would show up.'

"What does it all mean?"

'No matter where you go, people somehow find you.'

Hiding From Social Media

"He's living his life in a vacuum."

"I haven't seen you in ages - have you not been hiding under a rock?"

"I recommend self-isolation."

You come down now, Everett. The children have grown up and left.

And the great thing is...our kids love remote learning!

"There are easier ways to get time to yourself, Ed."

'I'm a hermit crab and like it this way, so no, I don't want to join any social network!'

'Have you got the time?'

"Not more 'me time'?"

"Burton, Fenton and Hacwood. Sorry, Mr. Hackwood is away, taking a 'gap' year on top of a mountain."

"You should get out more."