Hermit-life Enthusiasts Gifts

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'You're through around here.. turn in your rubber donut!'

Excess Baggage: Some people take getting away from it all very seriously.

"Yes, I'm alone."

Talent, pluck, or plain dumb luck?

'It's a sign of the times, a high rise block of caves reserved for hermits.'

"Yes, I'm the wise man who lives on the top of the mountain. And believe me, the surcharge for the pizza delivery service is insane!"

"Do you think solitude drives you insane?"

"You go on ahead. I'm going to hang out here for the next few months until everyone stops saying the word 'caucus.'"

"Living underground is not what it used to be."

"He's a super-calloused fragile mystic, hexed by halitosis."

Excess Baggage: Forcing your homebody spouse to accompany you on a business trip is generally not a great idea.

'Thank goodness, the publishers rejected my self help book.'

"There's apparently another one of those rescue ships coming to take us back to civilisation. . . quick, let's hide!"

'I told you that nobody would show up.'

"He's living his life in a vacuum."

"It gets a tad crowded in winter when I share the cave with 100s of hibernating snakes."

"You can just leave it on that crag, thanks."

'It's SUPPOSED to be quiet up here!'

'No matter where you go, people somehow find you.'

'I'm self isolating, you idiot!'

Hiding From Social Media

"I haven't seen you in ages - have you not been hiding under a rock?"

"Not more 'me time'?"

"Burton, Fenton and Hacwood. Sorry, Mr. Hackwood is away, taking a 'gap' year on top of a mountain."

You come down now, Everett. The children have grown up and left.

'Have you got the time?'

'I'm a hermit crab and like it this way, so no, I don't want to join any social network!'

And the great thing is...our kids love remote learning!

"I recommend self-isolation."

"There are easier ways to get time to yourself, Ed."

"You should get out more."

'Oh, I'm not a guru -- I'm just big on personal space.'