Hermit Life Appreciator Gifts

'I've stopped blogging myself: Frankly, the life of a Hermit Crab is not that exciting...'

Sometimes he just stood back and admired the breathtaking scenery of his life.

'You're through around here.. turn in your rubber donut!'

Excess Baggage: Some people take getting away from it all very seriously.

"Yes, I'm alone."

Talent, pluck, or plain dumb luck?

'It's a sign of the times, a high rise block of caves reserved for hermits.'

"That was before I found this amazing new way to earn $$$ working from home."

"You go on ahead. I'm going to hang out here for the next few months until everyone stops saying the word 'caucus.'"

"Do you see the person who stole your home from you in the courtroom today?"

"Do you think solitude drives you insane?"

"He's a super-calloused fragile mystic, hexed by halitosis."

"My parents are nice, school's going well, and I'm basically a good kid. Unfortunately, there's no money or fame in being normal."

Life is just four letters...

Excess Baggage: Forcing your homebody spouse to accompany you on a business trip is generally not a great idea.

'Thank goodness, the publishers rejected my self help book.'

"There's apparently another one of those rescue ships coming to take us back to civilisation. . . quick, let's hide!"

'I told you that nobody would show up.'

"What does it all mean?"

'No matter where you go, people somehow find you.'

"You can just leave it on that crag, thanks."

'I'm self isolating, you idiot!'

"He's living his life in a vacuum."

"It gets a tad crowded in winter when I share the cave with 100s of hibernating snakes."

"We've been here forty years - When do we get our golden parachutes?"

Blissful Acres - An Ignorant Community

The singular joy of living with a person who routinely glimpses the miraculous in the mundane.

"I haven't seen you in ages - have you not been hiding under a rock?"

"I recommend self-isolation."

And the great thing is...our kids love remote learning!

"Not more 'me time'?"

"Hypochondria is 100% fatal."

'I'm a hermit crab and like it this way, so no, I don't want to join any social network!'

There's no cure for birth and death, so you may as well enjoy the interval!

"There are easier ways to get time to yourself, Ed."