Heredity Enthusiast Gifts

'At present, my son and I are extremely interested in genetics and heredity.'

Cat and dog at a will reading.

"My great-great-grandfather was forced to flee Europe because of religious persecution."

Several generations live together in Cuba

'Oh dear. He's got my eyes.'

"Could you tell me how to get to cedar grove, New Jersey? I want to see where my grandfather was born."

'I think we're losing sight of out roots.'

"...We've traced your lineage all the way back to a 15th-century East European Count."

"My problem is a recessive gene for honesty and a dominant gene for robbery."

'The suspense is killing us. Which one is our grandchild?'

'Don't worry about making your will, Miss Moneybags leave everything to me. . .'

"They lead a simple life - they don't even put gas in their cars."

Frankenstein's Ancestry

"There's no need for your kitty to be envious. After state and federal taxes and legal administrative fees, Chessy's share of Aunt Martha's estate came to hardly anything."

'A geneticist laid bare my genetic blueprint, and I feel violated.'

Alfred Marquez, Probate Attorney - Heir club for men.

'Your uncle donated his brain to Harvard and, unfortunately, they used it to figure out a way to get the rest of his money.'

Send us $2.00, and we'll send you Your Family Tree

'That's interesting -- I seem to have discovered the gene that makes people want to become geneticists.'

"You get your hair from your father's side..."

Brilliance runs in my family, but in a zig-zag pattern.

'Someday, Son, all this will be your ex-wife's.'

Alderman shocked at a proposal to pull down Temple Bar

'Ahhh . . . he's got your original nose.'

"Yeah, my great-grandpa was shell-shocked in World War One too..."

Mother: 'He has your eyes.'

"'Frankenstein' is Jewish. I'm Irish on my mother's side befcause she was green, and an 'O'Houligan'..."

'He's making tremendous progress. last week he had three tails.'

'I've just discovered that one of my ancestors was a Security Goose for the Roman Army...'

'It took some doing, but I finally traced my roots back to the first amoeba.'

The dna double helix, with a human family taking the place of the dna rungs.

'Happy New Ear!'

'I went online to check out my ancestry and I found that my dad, 10,000 times removed, was an amoeba!'

"Just a moment, please. I would like my mother's maiden name included."

"Everyone here is alive because I got laid."