Family Gene Enthusiast Gifts

"She has her father's eyes!"

Family DNA

'You never met my father? Never mind, I'm turning into him!'

'Oh dear. He's got my eyes.'

"His name is James Tom Dave Jon Lee Robert Glenn Joseph Tony Sam Barnes. We didn't want to hurt any relatives' feelings by not naming him after them."

John W. Law., John W. Law Jr., Robert Law, Janet Law, Attorneys at Law

"My problem is a recessive gene for honesty and a dominant gene for robbery."

'Son, someday this will all be yours. Or Wal-Mart's. Whoever pays Daddy the most.'

'At present, my son and I are extremely interested in genetics and heredity.'

'A geneticist laid bare my genetic blueprint, and I feel violated.'

Well, I'll be...Dutch Elm Disease!

'That's interesting -- I seem to have discovered the gene that makes people want to become geneticists.'

'He's not my Daddy: He's my great great grandfather...'

'I'm tracing my relatives.'

Alvin, genealogist extraordinaire, traces his roots back to the first amoeba.

"Son, one day all this will belong to your tax office, your economy-hating environmental wackos and your corrupt political clowns."

Mother: 'He has your eyes.'

'Ahhh . . . he's got your original nose.'

'He's making tremendous progress. last week he had three tails.'

'Happy New Ear!'

'Sometimes I wonder how things would have turned out, if I'd gotten Mom's eyes and Dad's hair.'

'I went online to check out my ancestry and I found that my dad, 10,000 times removed, was an amoeba!'

"I don't know whether we should keep it a secret or call the world press!?"

"Mum, just curious: when you did the family tree, did you research all the way back to our ancestors on Noah's ark?"

"Frankly I'm a bit confused. According to the genetic printout this gentleman is, in fact, a goat

"We want one that's genetically gifted but not genetically spoiled."

"One day son, all this will probably belong to some little floozy you'll marry."

DNA Analysis

Specialized regions in a couple of human chromosomes.

'It used to be a dairy farm, but now the milk produces therapeutic proteins, and the eggs contain antibiotics.'

'These were developed in the 1980s - they're a heritage genetically modified variety.'

Recombinant DNA Lab.

'Whale DNA was added to my embryo and now all I crave is plankton.'

We can identify the genetic root of many problems... however your husbands being a long strak of water isn't one of them!