Family Gene Enthusiast Pillows

"She has her father's eyes!"

Family DNA

'Oh dear. He's got my eyes.'

'You never met my father? Never mind, I'm turning into him!'

"His name is James Tom Dave Jon Lee Robert Glenn Joseph Tony Sam Barnes. We didn't want to hurt any relatives' feelings by not naming him after them."

"My problem is a recessive gene for honesty and a dominant gene for robbery."

John W. Law., John W. Law Jr., Robert Law, Janet Law, Attorneys at Law

'Son, someday this will all be yours. Or Wal-Mart's. Whoever pays Daddy the most.'

'At present, my son and I are extremely interested in genetics and heredity.'

'A geneticist laid bare my genetic blueprint, and I feel violated.'

'That's interesting -- I seem to have discovered the gene that makes people want to become geneticists.'

'He's not my Daddy: He's my great great grandfather...'

Well, I'll be...Dutch Elm Disease!

'I'm tracing my relatives.'

"Son, one day all this will belong to your tax office, your economy-hating environmental wackos and your corrupt political clowns."

Alvin, genealogist extraordinaire, traces his roots back to the first amoeba.

Mother: 'He has your eyes.'

'He's making tremendous progress. last week he had three tails.'

'Ahhh . . . he's got your original nose.'

'Happy New Ear!'

'I went online to check out my ancestry and I found that my dad, 10,000 times removed, was an amoeba!'

"See? That's why my Mom wanted me to get her genetics."

'Sometimes I wonder how things would have turned out, if I'd gotten Mom's eyes and Dad's hair.'

"I don't know whether we should keep it a secret or call the world press!?"

"Mum, just curious: when you did the family tree, did you research all the way back to our ancestors on Noah's ark?"

"Frankly I'm a bit confused. According to the genetic printout this gentleman is, in fact, a goat

"We want one that's genetically gifted but not genetically spoiled."

"One day son, all this will probably belong to some little floozy you'll marry."

DNA Analysis

Specialized regions in a couple of human chromosomes.

'It used to be a dairy farm, but now the milk produces therapeutic proteins, and the eggs contain antibiotics.'

'These were developed in the 1980s - they're a heritage genetically modified variety.'

'Yeah, so our parents used to run together... what of it?'

Recombinant DNA Lab.

Designer Baby.