Gene Enthusiasts Gifts

The Gene Pool.

"There's a fly in my soup."

"On the eighth day, God found a lot of assembly parts left over."

'Oh dear. He's got my eyes.'

"My problem is a recessive gene for honesty and a dominant gene for robbery."

Gene Therapy

'A geneticist laid bare my genetic blueprint, and I feel violated.'

'Well, look who has stock in Genomes-R-Us.'

'That's interesting -- I seem to have discovered the gene that makes people want to become geneticists.'

'We've created a teenager!'

'The future of medicine' "It's genomics." "I'd say proteins." "Same as always: economics."

DNA Xmas.

"Fortunately I hold the patent for the gene that's causing the ringing in your ears, and I can refer you to the doctor who holds the patent for the gene that's causing the pain in your ears."

'He's making tremendous progress. last week he had three tails.'

Mother: 'He has your eyes.'

'Ahhh . . . he's got your original nose.'

Profits from gene patenting.

"Cloning is all very well in theory, but do you have any proof it can actually work?"

'Happy New Ear!'

'Sometimes I wonder how things would have turned out, if I'd gotten Mom's eyes and Dad's hair.'

"I don't know whether we should keep it a secret or call the world press!?"

"Interestingly no - these are vastly enlarged images of my three favourite chromosomes."

A monkey climbs a DNA double helix.

Gene Expression

'The stand-up geneticist'

"Frankly I'm a bit confused. According to the genetic printout this gentleman is, in fact, a goat

'It's your mother. You're being recalled for the correction of a minor defect.'

"We want one that's genetically gifted but not genetically spoiled."

DNA Analysis

Specialized regions in a couple of human chromosomes.

'Medical researcher have isolated the gene that makes us want to discuss our ailments with anyone we meet.'

'It used to be a dairy farm, but now the milk produces therapeutic proteins, and the eggs contain antibiotics.'

"From now on, take the human genome outside before you unravel it"

'These were developed in the 1980s - they're a heritage genetically modified variety.'

'I hope you are not playing God again . . .'