Henhouse Humorist Gifts

'Hey - I was in line first! There you go again...messing up the pecking order!'

"Honest dear, those other 39 hens don't mean a thing to me!"

"I'm working from home today."

The wooden clothes horse of Troy.

F&E Stables. Horses Boarded. The owner of this horse is a huge fan of the late musician, "Prince." That explains the purple reins.

'First give me the food - then you get the egg.'

'I'm not going to remind you again, Harold. Now, go get the garbage and bring it in here.'

"Mom, Dad, this is Kevin, our new ombudsman."

'The owner plays in the NBA.'

Desperate Househusbands: 'Help! My wife left me with the kids for two minutes while she ran to the store. Help!'

Prisoner Crossing

'What makes you think the basement leaks?'

"Our cat is the only god this home needs."

'Careful, it's not politically correct to say I rule the roost anymore...'

'The fire seems to be drawing well.'

"Are you aware that in your submission you misspelled 'deer editer'?"

The firehouse has a cat instead of a dalmation.

It looks like wood, but it's actually vinyl siding.

'I need three estimates before I appoint an estate agent.' - 'Right, £120,000, £130,000 and £140,000.'

"You have a lot of unresolved anger and it's settled in your hat."

"...I love the smell of an uncut lawn."

'Goodnight honey... did you remember to unplug the baby?'

Oh, one door closes, another opens -- How have you been?

Is this your father, little guy? No, lady, my father is a libel attorney, and you'll be hearing from him.

'Be sure to bring home your divots so you can patch the bare spots in our lawn.'

'My wife used too much fabric softener.'

How men shop for towels.

Dog tallying his score against the mailman.

This Semester's Report Card

"That's his idea of multi-tasking."

The Hen Commandments.

'Oh no, it's that 'come hither and do the dishes' look.'

'An egg and spoon race! That's horrible!'

"So our ant-cestors come from Ant-artica?"

Valentines for Real Estate