Henhouse Humor Gifts

Pecking order - pecking out of order.

'First give me the food - then you get the egg.'

'The owner plays in the NBA.'

Prisoner Crossing

'What makes you think the basement leaks?'

'Careful, it's not politically correct to say I rule the roost anymore...'

"Well, as a matter of fact, no, you didn't tell us you kept exotic pets when you sold us the house!"

"It's not much, but we've made it our own living hell."

'I need three estimates before I appoint an estate agent.' - 'Right, £120,000, £130,000 and £140,000.'

"I had money problems- forged fivers the wrong colour!"

Ice Fishing

'An egg and spoon race! That's horrible!'

"Be honest Walter...Is it me you really love or just the farm-fresh eggs every morning?"

'Well, you're not acting like you have every confidence in me.'

'I'm sorry, but all we have in your price range are a few bales of hay.'

"This article says girls will come and go...but family give us unconditional love and will always be there."

Vine-Gripened Tomatoes

Estate Agents.

"They weren't very friendly when they proscuted me for obtaining loans under false names."

"Another unpaid nightshift! Please tell me you at least secured the video rights?"

'My first counterfeit dollar.'

'It's for you.'

"Honest dear, those other 39 hens don't mean a thing to me!"

At least you have security!

Cartoonist draws bomb next to prisoner.

Hen sells her eggs direct at egg farm.

The reason for the real estate slump.

'Never take the stand in your own defense. The judge can reach you with the gavel.'

"See you later. Do you want the door closed?'

"Bob, Bob, he's about to open the flyscreen door! It's our chance to get out of this place!"