Hen Humorist Gifts

"Be honest Walter...Is it me you really love or just the farm-fresh eggs every morning?"

'An egg and spoon race! That's horrible!'

"We only got six days of funding."

'It appears he hit an iceberg.' (A LETTUCE)

'...We apologise for any inconvenience this may cause..."

"I agree, the place was a tear-down, but I just remembered we were only renting it."

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

Football Chameleon

'What - NINE whole lives for only ONE eternity?'

"Surgery up here is free!"

"Eww - that whale's breath smells awful!" "You could use a breath mint yourself, lady!"

'Okay, found you. Now let's open the 'Review' link...'

"Day 4,261... I don’t know how much longer I can survive. Still no signs of civilization. Food is scarce and I fear the wound on my ankle is infected. Still, all this pales in comparison to the horror of having to be anywhere at any particular time."

The Adventures of God

'Let's have some fun... give Eve extra memory.'

"The Eggsorcist"

'It's not for myself, you understand."

"We can't Sunday. We've been invited to 'you know who's' skybox."

'Of course homosexuality is not a sin, handsome.'

MUSHROOM MASACRE.

"All we have left is standing room only."

A surprise in heaven

'We've re-branded.'

'I'm being sent back. I told you I have a great attorney.'

"I do tech support for the cloud."

'I knew if we waited long enough, heaven would downsize.'

' It's a bit of an anti climax - I've washed it but I can't go any where ! '

"Don't worry, Miss. I'll soon get the hang of it."

"Some mid-life crisis that turned out to be."

"I’ve heard of them barking at the moon, but never scatting at the sun."

'I'm no expert, but I think we're a little behind when it comes to the latest industry technology.'

"You are running low on cloud storage space. Please upgrade your account to continue."

"I condensed my painting to the pure essence of the message. What helps me a lot is the fact that I've got nothing to say at all."

"Is this what I want to be doing with my death?"

'Are you sure You can be objective? -After all, You did CREATE them.'