Hemingway Enthusiasts Gifts

A FAREWELL TO ARMS ERNEST HEMINGWAY

"His exercise wheel has lost all its fascination sinces he started reading Hemingway."

Dickens & Tolstoy Walk into a Bar: " . . . so, to make a short story long . . . "

Romeo & Juliet & Ron

'He was a great writer'

'Look mum and dad! They let me keep my appendix!' - A young book excitedly showing off his appendix to his arriving parents.

"Hemingway! Is he any good?"

Thomas Keneally

'Trains traditionally run late, it rains on bank holidays and Yorkshire pudding is a main course.'

'This is all without rhyme or reason.'

Living together, couple in love.

William Wordsworth

"Oh, Romeo, Romeo, I thought you said eight."

"Fire, bad. Smoke, good... quite the conundrum."

The Gweat Twain Wobbery.

Dame Edna Sitwell

Truman Capote

Ernest Hemingway

Lancelot put to the Test.

"Tonight... Hemingway."

'Oh-oh -- I think I've invented writer's block!'

'I realize that you're upset that Oprah hasn't reviewed your new book on her show. But you are on MY show, so why don't you tell us what inspired you to write 'Overcoming Disappointment and Resentment.''

"Just think of it, Charles – yesterday I was a caterpillar, and tomorrow I'll be dead."

The Old Man and the Noodle.

Books versus TV.

I've traveled back through time to warn: The aliens are here. Open Mike Night Presents Future Guy. They hitched rides in on Halley's Comet every time it's near. Living nanites masquerading as technology … depending on the gullibility of you and me. 200,000 years of riding horses and buggies ... and suddenly we're 3-D printing tools and cars and trees? They're everywhere, just biding time to finish their big plan. They're in your phones, your watch, your cars, and they are nearly done. The brain

"It's the first tell-all book by a former Administration insider written entirely in iambic pentameter."

"Hush, little baby, don't say a word. Papa's gonna buy you a mockingbird. And if that mockingbird won't sing, Papa's gonna flip out and make everyone around him anxious and miserable."

Yum Yum

'These upcoming negotiations are going to be rough Jekyll, son you better send Hyde.'

"Nice, but it's still a fish bowl. We'd like something with a little more privacy."

'What a day! I feel like I've been through the ringer.'

'Baskerville, that's right: The Hound killed by Sherlock Holmes was one of my ancestors...'

"Well, it works for Susan Sontag."

'What do you mean 'What would Jane Austen do?''