Helmet Humorist Gifts

"On your left."

'Get on the field! Let's go! Get your heads in the game!!'

Olaf's Doughnut Hut. The real reason for viking helmets.

Gavel me once, shame on you; gavel me twice, shame on me.

'A metal plate in your head does not qualify as a helmet.'

'Yo, Dewey! Got another one over here when you're done.'

Bad news from the West Indies "and the ball has gone for two...and his helmet for four"

'I warned him. 'Wear a helmet when you play poker, Bob.' He wouldn't listen.'

Biker: 'Gesundheit!' a female pillion passenger messes up the inside of her helmet from her sneeze

'He intentionally entangles his face mask in my hand!'

'You don't suppose I could borrow that helmet for a while, do you...?'

'Why can't you just stand nose to tail like the rest of us do?'

"Okay, so the space food is getting more appetising...However, we still can't take out helmets off!"

"So I lost my bicycle helmet, what about it?"

"Everyone is wearing protective gear. How did they know you were playing today?"

"Hannah, Where's Your Helmet?

'Let's start out with cliches and pithy slogans - and work our way up to wisdom ...OK?'

Mouse in a hamster wheel.

'I got an F today - for improper interfacing with my computer.'

A dog has inflated the family cats with helium and they are floating on the roof.

'Remember, before entering, make sure you wipe your feet on the hazmat.'

A word from James Cameron. . .

"We are here to remove a blockage in your bank account."

'Hi! -- I'm selling theory insurance!'

'Now where did I put my knitting needles?'

Man disposes of baby's nappy in a toxin waste bin.

Homeworking has really been the death of the office party, what do you think?

'Your medical coverage does not consider that a medical necessity.'

Radioactive Pizza

It's much easier on my knees.

'Can't it wait until halftime?'

"Oh really, Gerald! You're removing honey from the hives, not plutonium!"

'You shouldn't have forgotten the flag!'

So...who is your provider ?

"You know, Burkhart, if you're so damn afraid of the flu maybe you should just stay home."