Hellhole Humorists Pillows

"What are you lookin' at? Never seen a routine fire drill before?"

"Oh, no - Karen baked a cake so dense that not even light can escape."

Contrary to popular belief, the road to Hell is paved with a comprehensive, lifetime tax return.

"Hey, I'm just playing devil's avocado!"

It is said there is a black hole in the middle of the galaxy. But heaven knows what it looks like!

'And your class story is an old, old one. In the middle of successful soul-snatching careers you were suddenly bitten by the lawyering bug...'

'Took calcium supplements for years without paying for them.'

"You'll have to excuse my date. He spontaneously combusts from time to time."

'It's your turn to put the cat out.'

'I was on my way to Heaven, when they stumbled across my blog...'

"We remain reasonably confident that once we nail down the little network problem we're having, all Hell will be able to break loose according to the modified schedule, which, unfortunately, is in a file we can't seem to locate right now."

Hellbillies.

"Running out for lawyers and CEOs. Want anything?"

"From here on out it's term and conditions."

Last Chance To take Selfie For All Eternity.

Special Place in Hell...

'Wrong fork. Good Lord, man, don't you have any table manners?'

'Tastes like it's been stored next to a blazing furnace for twenty years - Perfect!'

Finally, a big puffy hand for the losing team.

Hades Weather Channel. Tomorrow will continue gloomy with lots of scattered firestorms and high pressure fronts. And, as always, an infinitesimal chance of freezing over.

'It's another 'Wish you were here' postcard from my friend in Hell.'

When rednecks and techies network.

"Your call is very important to us. Please hold the line...for eternity!"

Type that up, make ten million copies and then shred them.

'This next song is one I wrote before I souled out.'

That's a salad pitchfork, Bob.

"Just take the crowd out of it. Imagine everyone is naked."

"Hey - are those scented candles???"

"Well... Can't say I'm surprised!"

'Hey you! You work here, don't you? You people could be in real trouble with the fire marshal for not having any smoke detectors! I assume they make regular inspections around here?'

A cold day in Hell.

"A dry heat - no problem. But this humidity."

'Where do you see yourself i 500 or say, 5000 millennium?'

Angel Puppet.

666 Hades Circle