Black Hole Humorists Pillows

"Oh, no - Karen baked a cake so dense that not even light can escape."

'According to our statistics department, 78.93 of the statistics they produce are worthless.'

"Don't be embarrassed. Most heroic archetypes your age have lost the ability to swashbuckle."

Wolf Danny With "Random""The work must be tantamount to mayhem. Making an insatiable public confused, indifferent, annoyed—this is the premise on which rests my deliberately vacuous oeuvre."

Indian rajah rowing elephant in a monsoon flood.

Cat Heaven vs Mouse Hell.

"Gee, thanks pal."

"Good Lord! Life on Mars...adorable life on Mars!"

'Today's sermon is on Eve and Adam....'

Christmas in the Fish Bowl

Welcome to Mauritius Home of the Dodo Burger

"Is it me, or is Jasper Johns a genius?" "Über-genius, Larry. Über!"

"The universe is expanding! Of course I'm expanding too!"

"Hey, I'm just playing devil's avocado!"

"Does anyone know anything about spyware?"

"This cruise is getting a very stern review from me, I can tell you."

Non-Creative Writing, Also Known as Plagiarism 101.

"I see the White House didn't lower the flag to half staff."

'Mayday! Mayday! I'm in the drink!'

"That's not a knife crime initiative. That's a knife crime initiative!"

'Mr. Dunbarter, your fantasy that 'greed is good' may be a case of economic insanity.'

"So, like, don't make any big plans for this weekend."

'I don't think the employees like me.'

'He doesn't like people walking in - try crawling.'

"I'm starting my own movement—Occupy Fifty-Seventh Street."

Looks Like They're Finally Renovating The Toilet

"That's the preacher's dog."

"I swear, Mr. Drumpf, I meant it in the best sense of the word." "Mr. Drumpf is a moron."

"I knew we should have gotten the shorter tree."

It is said there is a black hole in the middle of the galaxy. But heaven knows what it looks like!

German School

'I've been sitting on this mountain for 25 years, and what I've learned is that true happiness can only be found in the soothing relief of a fast-acting hemorrhoid cream!'

"You can't offend me. I never mix religion or politics with reality."

Bank P45's - 'Cashier number 5 please.'

Man with dollar sign on his t-shirt.