Hell's Humorist Pillows

"Hey, I'm just playing devil's avocado!"

A cold day in Hell.

One vampire tricks another behind a mirror.

Contrary to popular belief, the road to Hell is paved with a comprehensive, lifetime tax return.

"Yeah, I'm moonlighting. It's a living."

Dr. Frankenstein creates his newest monster, Frankenmime.

'Transylvania's most famous Optometrist 'Count Mracula'.'

"Johnson, you're new here, right? Mind if I pick your brain?"

"Some Debussy, Igor."

'It's a little varietal I bottle myself...Type A positive.'

"From this you make a living?"

Cat Frankenstein

Meowlzebub

Fancy a pint?

"Well, sir, it looks like things are getting pretty serious for Peter and Pauline."

"Sometime I feel people go out of their way just to scare me."

'It's your turn to put the cat out.'

The Zombie Awakes...

...your sales are rather anemic

'And your class story is an old, old one. In the middle of successful soul-snatching careers you were suddenly bitten by the lawyering bug...'

'Took calcium supplements for years without paying for them.'

'The problem is you're a perfectionist. You don't always have to be totally evil. Sometimes it's OK to just be annoying.'

'I was on my way to Heaven, when they stumbled across my blog...'

"We remain reasonably confident that once we nail down the little network problem we're having, all Hell will be able to break loose according to the modified schedule, which, unfortunately, is in a file we can't seem to locate right now."

"Do you see the one who possessed your soul?"

"From here on out it's term and conditions."

Hellbillies.

Pitching problems.

'No fair, man. How come you get a dessert fork?'

'Botox so soon, Master?'