Hellish Humor Pillows

'I think it's most likely a situational depression.'

Contrary to popular belief, the road to Hell is paved with a comprehensive, lifetime tax return.

"Hey, I'm just playing devil's avocado!"

"From this you make a living?"

'And your class story is an old, old one. In the middle of successful soul-snatching careers you were suddenly bitten by the lawyering bug...'

'Took calcium supplements for years without paying for them.'

'It's your turn to put the cat out.'

'The problem is you're a perfectionist. You don't always have to be totally evil. Sometimes it's OK to just be annoying.'

'I was on my way to Heaven, when they stumbled across my blog...'

"We remain reasonably confident that once we nail down the little network problem we're having, all Hell will be able to break loose according to the modified schedule, which, unfortunately, is in a file we can't seem to locate right now."

"From here on out it's term and conditions."

Hellbillies.

Last Chance To take Selfie For All Eternity.

Special Place in Hell...

'Wrong fork. Good Lord, man, don't you have any table manners?'

'Tastes like it's been stored next to a blazing furnace for twenty years - Perfect!'

'It's another 'Wish you were here' postcard from my friend in Hell.'

"Well... Can't say I'm surprised!"

'You do realize that's just a giant novelty fork, right? They used to have one in the restaurant where I worked.'

'This next song is one I wrote before I souled out.'

'I'm afraid you're going to have to stay with us for a thousand years, but your sins are tax-deductible.'

"Your call is very important to us. Please hold the line...for eternity!"

"Hey - are those scented candles???"

"As you can see, this front will continue for quite some time."

'So where are you going?'

We should be fine, provided we keep one pitchfork apart.

Angel Puppet.

'Where do you see yourself i 500 or say, 5000 millennium?'

"Are you sure you should be on this list?!"

"A dry heat - no problem. But this humidity."

"I must warn you that the house is haunted but the ghost are mostly interested in doing sexy ceramics."

A cold day in Hell.