Hellish Humor Fan Pillows

'It's another 'Wish you were here' postcard from my friend in Hell.'

Hellbillies.

'Where do you see yourself i 500 or say, 5000 millennium?'

Last Chance To take Selfie For All Eternity.

"Hey, you guys talking about me? My ears were freezing."

"If you get to the pitchfork-shaped cloud, you've gone too far."

"I just know he's gonna ask me why I voted for Trump."

"I hope you don't mind leftovers."

"Would you like to leave a message? He's on the throne"

Going Down?

"From this you make a living?"

"Any references?"

'Frankendumpty'

"It's not so bad! But I DO have to sleep on my side. . .2

'It's your turn to put the cat out.'

'And your class story is an old, old one. In the middle of successful soul-snatching careers you were suddenly bitten by the lawyering bug...'

'Took calcium supplements for years without paying for them.'

'The problem is you're a perfectionist. You don't always have to be totally evil. Sometimes it's OK to just be annoying.'

'I was on my way to Heaven, when they stumbled across my blog...'

"We remain reasonably confident that once we nail down the little network problem we're having, all Hell will be able to break loose according to the modified schedule, which, unfortunately, is in a file we can't seem to locate right now."

"I'm enjoying law school but I don't want to be known as the attorney from hell."

'Go right on in, Helen. By the way, be sure to read tomorrow's newspaper - I understand your grandson has drawn a cartoon in your honor.'

"Can you write 'To Mandy - you're the best'?"

"From here on out it's term and conditions."

Vampire shaving cut dilemma.

"This oughtta be good...my lawyer is about to read my Will. I left everything to my cat Binky!"

'Hold on to this ticket. Immediately after armageddon, there'll be a drawing for door prizes!'

'You have the right to refuse the body scanner, but then I'll have to pat you down.'

"But you're paper trained and we don't have any newspapers or newspaper people."

Special Place in Hell...

"Closed until further notice."

'Please feel free to take me out of context.'

'Wrong fork. Good Lord, man, don't you have any table manners?'

Scary Marshmallow Campfire Stories.

'Mum said I take after your side of the family, Dad!'