Hellish Humor Aficionado Pillows

'And your class story is an old, old one. In the middle of successful soul-snatching careers you were suddenly bitten by the lawyering bug...'

Summer 2000: Children stumble upon the remains of Linda Tripp's old head.

Contrary to popular belief, the road to Hell is paved with a comprehensive, lifetime tax return.

"Hey, I'm just playing devil's avocado!"

"I hope you don't mind leftovers."

"The doctor is in court on Tuesdays and Wednesdays."

"Would you like to see the markup?"

"From this you make a living?"

'Frankendumpty'

'Took calcium supplements for years without paying for them.'

"It's not so bad! But I DO have to sleep on my side. . .2

'It's your turn to put the cat out.'

'It's an emergency, Doctor. The vitamin company needs an endorsement.'

'The problem is you're a perfectionist. You don't always have to be totally evil. Sometimes it's OK to just be annoying.'

'I was on my way to Heaven, when they stumbled across my blog...'

God's Law.

"We remain reasonably confident that once we nail down the little network problem we're having, all Hell will be able to break loose according to the modified schedule, which, unfortunately, is in a file we can't seem to locate right now."

"Three years running 'fake news' websites? You're just what we're looking for!"

"Tell me more about the voices in your neck."

Hellbillies.

"From here on out it's term and conditions."

Last Chance To take Selfie For All Eternity.

Special Place in Hell...

Scary Marshmallow Campfire Stories.

'Wrong fork. Good Lord, man, don't you have any table manners?'

'Tastes like it's been stored next to a blazing furnace for twenty years - Perfect!'

"We sell beer, but it's non-alcoholic."

"As a vegan vampire I suck but I don't swallow."

"It's good luck."

"All we seem to be catching is little ones. We must be too close to their spawning grounds."

'Nothing much happened in the Middle East today.... Ha! -- Just kidding.'

"The world isn't ready for a book like this. How would you feel about publishing it posthumously?"

'It's another 'Wish you were here' postcard from my friend in Hell.'