Hellhole Humorists Gifts

"Oh, no - Karen baked a cake so dense that not even light can escape."

Contrary to popular belief, the road to Hell is paved with a comprehensive, lifetime tax return.

"Hey, I'm just playing devil's avocado!"

It is said there is a black hole in the middle of the galaxy. But heaven knows what it looks like!

'And your class story is an old, old one. In the middle of successful soul-snatching careers you were suddenly bitten by the lawyering bug...'

'It's your turn to put the cat out.'

'Took calcium supplements for years without paying for them.'

"You'll have to excuse my date. He spontaneously combusts from time to time."

'I was on my way to Heaven, when they stumbled across my blog...'

"We remain reasonably confident that once we nail down the little network problem we're having, all Hell will be able to break loose according to the modified schedule, which, unfortunately, is in a file we can't seem to locate right now."

"Running out for lawyers and CEOs. Want anything?"

Hellbillies.

"From here on out it's term and conditions."

Last Chance To take Selfie For All Eternity.

Special Place in Hell...

'Wrong fork. Good Lord, man, don't you have any table manners?'

'Tastes like it's been stored next to a blazing furnace for twenty years - Perfect!'

Finally, a big puffy hand for the losing team.

When rednecks and techies network.

'It's another 'Wish you were here' postcard from my friend in Hell.'

"Your call is very important to us. Please hold the line...for eternity!"

"Hey - are those scented candles???"

"Just take the crowd out of it. Imagine everyone is naked."

'This next song is one I wrote before I souled out.'

"Well... Can't say I'm surprised!"

'So where are you going?'

"A dry heat - no problem. But this humidity."

666 Hades Circle

Angel Puppet.

'Where do you see yourself i 500 or say, 5000 millennium?'

'Oh good! I hate long lines.'