Hell-bound Vacationers Gifts

"Your room has been comped."

Holiday time.

"I neeeeeeed neeeeeeed neeeeeeed my iPhone!"

Taking a little mental vacation can help as long as you don't go to mental.

"I said isn't it great to get away from it all."

'You've got just 2 minutes to pack then you are on OUR time and I'm going to start charging you rent!'

Death Takes A Time-Share

"Your brochure led me to believe it'd have a more temperate climate."

Lost luggage turning up on Mars.

"We'll see you soon, kids! Your mother and I have won a romantic cruise for two on some man's huge ark."

Arctic Caravan Breaks

'It'll be a working vacation.'

"But Darling you always wanted to swim with dolphins"

Hiker and the Rodents.

"Han stuffed himself with Kessel's fried Bantha tacos and now he's got the Kessel runs."

'It's a good thing Dad's with us - We could have been in trouble by ourselves!'

Excess Baggage: From the 'Travel Promises that never meant to be kept' department.

'This vacation has just come to a screeching halt - My pocket's just been picked.'

Ski Vagaries in Switzerland

Bob learned to redirect his pent-up fury. Rather than postal, he went coastal.

"Without question, you're a big improvement on our last tour rep."

'She seems to like this spot.'

Sign pointing to the beach and in the direction of mobile phones.

"Wait a minute ... this isn't my timeshare!"

'Don't worry. I have no intention of drinking the water.'

'Maybe now you'll admit that we're lost!?'

Southwest Hampton

Man fishing with rod with multiple lines.

'Is it out of order or out of money?'

'If you're teaching him how to drive, what are you doing back there?'

Shy Man at Nudist Beach

"Tabarnak!"

Just In - Untreated Sewage Blobs

'Gloria, tell my nine-o'clock to go to hell.'

"They didn't tell us this blues cruise actually gives you the blues."