Vacationer Gone Wrong Gifts

'For me, this was just a bad time share swap.'

Hiding the electronics.

"Do you remember, Peg—are we on our way out or on our way back?"

"Do we have to go to the beach? I think the airline mixed up my luggage."

'This is where we go to get away from it all. . . except for Stanley's money.'

"I'm telling you, those are not abs!"

Taking a little mental vacation can help as long as you don't go to mental.

'After the tone, please leave your name and number.'

'That's funny, everybody else is going downstream.'

"I neeeeeeed neeeeeeed neeeeeeed my iPhone!"

"Mom said never use that dirty 4-letter word on vacation...DIET."

"Hey! I've got audio but no visual!"

"Yaffle: For the funny bone in you"

'No, no, no. You guys are way off! This isn't even the cat. You guys are on the dog.'

A proctologist by trade, Bob liked to spend his weekends out in nature.

'You've got just 2 minutes to pack then you are on OUR time and I'm going to start charging you rent!'

"Harold, stop sucking in your stomach when the girls walk by. You're going to hurt yourself."

Take your time coming back...they're looking for scapegoats.

'Ahh, mannn! I thought you said this was a NUDE beach!' Two guys overlooking a clothed beach hoping it wasn't

"Do you get unlimited talk, text and data with that?"

'Looks like this beach has already been claimed.'

'How was your holiday?'

'Maybe that'll teach you not to argue with the waiter over the bill!'

Man jumping into swimming pool with phone.

"You're right. The sunscreen does taste like ranch dressing."

"Shoot, I forgot this place has early checkout."

Sombrero with gutter pipe holiday

"Welcome to the staff! The compensation is generous and they have good benefits. They're cutting out our paid Bahamas cruise though, because too many employees never came back."

'I really felt at home there. The food was awful!'

Statue of Liberty Taking a Selfie

"Here's a good spot, Hon."

'When the airport said they were booking us on a different flight, I thouoght we'd still be going to Albuquerque!'

Genie Gets a Good View on the Beach.

Buried at the Beach

'No, I'm not going anywhere today: It's my pilot fish's day off...'