Vacationer Gone Wrong Pillows

'For me, this was just a bad time share swap.'

Hiding the electronics.

"Do we have to go to the beach? I think the airline mixed up my luggage."

"Do you remember, Peg—are we on our way out or on our way back?"

'This is where we go to get away from it all. . . except for Stanley's money.'

"I'm telling you, those are not abs!"

'After the tone, please leave your name and number.'

'That's funny, everybody else is going downstream.'

"I neeeeeeed neeeeeeed neeeeeeed my iPhone!"

Taking a little mental vacation can help as long as you don't go to mental.

"Hey! I've got audio but no visual!"

"Yaffle: For the funny bone in you"

"Mom said never use that dirty 4-letter word on vacation...DIET."

'No, no, no. You guys are way off! This isn't even the cat. You guys are on the dog.'

A proctologist by trade, Bob liked to spend his weekends out in nature.

'You've got just 2 minutes to pack then you are on OUR time and I'm going to start charging you rent!'

"Harold, stop sucking in your stomach when the girls walk by. You're going to hurt yourself."

'Ahh, mannn! I thought you said this was a NUDE beach!' Two guys overlooking a clothed beach hoping it wasn't

Take your time coming back...they're looking for scapegoats.

"Welcome to the staff! The compensation is generous and they have good benefits. They're cutting out our paid Bahamas cruise though, because too many employees never came back."

'Looks like this beach has already been claimed.'

'How was your holiday?'

"Do you get unlimited talk, text and data with that?"

'Maybe that'll teach you not to argue with the waiter over the bill!'

Man jumping into swimming pool with phone.

"You're right. The sunscreen does taste like ranch dressing."

Sombrero with gutter pipe holiday

"Shoot, I forgot this place has early checkout."

'I really felt at home there. The food was awful!'

Statue of Liberty Taking a Selfie

'When the airport said they were booking us on a different flight, I thouoght we'd still be going to Albuquerque!'

Genie Gets a Good View on the Beach.

"Here's a good spot, Hon."

Buried at the Beach

'No, I'm not going anywhere today: It's my pilot fish's day off...'