Helicopter Pilot Humor Gifts

'There can be such a thing as too much parental involvement.'

'Flight simulator'

Santa knows he has to be more careful. One more accident due to pilot error, and the FAA would take away his pilot's license for good.

'The best part is being able to fly without taking off your shoes.'

"RAF Recruitment Waiting Room."

"I don't think my parents have a lot of confidence in me."

'Ah, Reeves - it's lonely on top!'

'If you fuss over him all the time and make his life too comfortable, he'll never leave!'

Cow Pilot.

"There is no air conditioning in the luggage compartment so stand up straight and stop licking your nose!"

'Here comes the in-flight meal.'

'Stealth broom.'

"My mom won't let me eat snowflakes unless they're certified organic."

'Captain, a passenger says there's a gremlin out on the wing of the plane.'

'Catching lunch again Steward?'

'For a little extra we can allocate you a seat inside the aircraft.'

"A sad incident at LaGuardia Airport today as a depressed 757 landed and burst into tears."

Two birds refuel.

"I always end up next to the weirdo!"

"In the event of a water landing, your seat cushions may be used as flotation devices. And, your tray tables may be used to bash sharks."

"Yes, I'm wearing a cowbell. It's just until my mom figures out a way to track me on my phone."

'I‘ll be relieved when they invent the aeroplane, these long trips are playing havoc with my wings'.

Birds talk about flying...we land in the Hudson all the time - no big deal.

'I always ask for a seat in the tail. You never hear of a plane backing into a mountain...'

Travel Law #135: Those with window seats are the last to arrive.' People climb over other passengers on an airplane.

' ... and that's a policy giving you flight insurance covering mid-air bankruptcies.'

The first in-flight meal: "Care for some soup?"

No, it does not look stupid, and yes, you are going to wear a helmet.

'I went to wash the wheels on that European Airbus A380 by myself. I didn't know it had 22 wheels.'

"Hey, thanks again for letting me borrow your pen."

The FS-2004 has a great new add-on!

'Once you're seated and have safely stowed all carry-ons, we'll start the bidding for seat belts.'

"You think you're annoyed? The acoustics in here are terrible!"

What really killed the dinsaurs.

'Your $5 gets your 3 minutes in the lavatory--now how much toilet paper would you like to purchase?'