Humorous Aviators Gifts

'Damn it! I can never remember which one's the lighter.'

'Flight simulator'

Vampire on a plane

"Old timers are quick to tell me that the drive to Abilene was different in their day."

Santa knows he has to be more careful. One more accident due to pilot error, and the FAA would take away his pilot's license for good.

'The best part is being able to fly without taking off your shoes.'

"RAF Recruitment Waiting Room."

Cow Pilot.

"There is no air conditioning in the luggage compartment so stand up straight and stop licking your nose!"

'Then, to stop the spread, they burned the village and sent me home.'

'Since you're wearing cargo pants, everything in your pockets is considered cargo and subject to a tariff.'

'Here comes the in-flight meal.'

'Stealth broom.'

'Captain, a passenger says there's a gremlin out on the wing of the plane.'

'Catching lunch again Steward?'

"Can we not fly in a "V"? Victor broke up with me."

"Flight time is approximately 3 seconds and - I won't lie to you folks - it's a bit choppy up there."

"I always end up next to the weirdo!"

"A sad incident at LaGuardia Airport today as a depressed 757 landed and burst into tears."

Two birds refuel.

'For a little extra we can allocate you a seat inside the aircraft.'

"In the event of a water landing, your seat cushions may be used as flotation devices. And, your tray tables may be used to bash sharks."

The first in-flight meal: "Care for some soup?"

' ... and that's a policy giving you flight insurance covering mid-air bankruptcies.'

"Please remove your shoes, realize you forgot to wear socks, accept your fate, and make peace with your god."

'I always ask for a seat in the tail. You never hear of a plane backing into a mountain...'

Sometimes they need the oxygen mask after they see the new baggage fees.

Birds talk about flying...we land in the Hudson all the time - no big deal.

'I‘ll be relieved when they invent the aeroplane, these long trips are playing havoc with my wings'.

Travel Law #135: Those with window seats are the last to arrive.' People climb over other passengers on an airplane.

'I went to wash the wheels on that European Airbus A380 by myself. I didn't know it had 22 wheels.'

'Once you're seated and have safely stowed all carry-ons, we'll start the bidding for seat belts.'

"You think you're annoyed? The acoustics in here are terrible!"

I was telling him a story of my granddaughter's wedding.

The FS-2004 has a great new add-on!