Helicopter Pilot Humor Prints

'There can be such a thing as too much parental involvement.'

'Flight simulator'

Santa knows he has to be more careful. One more accident due to pilot error, and the FAA would take away his pilot's license for good.

'The best part is being able to fly without taking off your shoes.'

"RAF Recruitment Waiting Room."

'If you fuss over him all the time and make his life too comfortable, he'll never leave!'

'Ah, Reeves - it's lonely on top!'

Cow Pilot.

"There is no air conditioning in the luggage compartment so stand up straight and stop licking your nose!"

'Here comes the in-flight meal.'

'Catching lunch again Steward?'

'Stealth broom.'

'Captain, a passenger says there's a gremlin out on the wing of the plane.'

"My mom won't let me eat snowflakes unless they're certified organic."

"A sad incident at LaGuardia Airport today as a depressed 757 landed and burst into tears."

"I always end up next to the weirdo!"

Two birds refuel.

"In the event of a water landing, your seat cushions may be used as flotation devices. And, your tray tables may be used to bash sharks."

'For a little extra we can allocate you a seat inside the aircraft.'

Travel Law #135: Those with window seats are the last to arrive.' People climb over other passengers on an airplane.

"Yes, I'm wearing a cowbell. It's just until my mom figures out a way to track me on my phone."

' ... and that's a policy giving you flight insurance covering mid-air bankruptcies.'

'I always ask for a seat in the tail. You never hear of a plane backing into a mountain...'

The first in-flight meal: "Care for some soup?"

Birds talk about flying...we land in the Hudson all the time - no big deal.

'I‘ll be relieved when they invent the aeroplane, these long trips are playing havoc with my wings'.

'I went to wash the wheels on that European Airbus A380 by myself. I didn't know it had 22 wheels.'

"Hey, thanks again for letting me borrow your pen."

The FS-2004 has a great new add-on!

What really killed the dinsaurs.

"You think you're annoyed? The acoustics in here are terrible!"

'Your $5 gets your 3 minutes in the lavatory--now how much toilet paper would you like to purchase?'

'Once you're seated and have safely stowed all carry-ons, we'll start the bidding for seat belts.'

'Next time the captain says to turn off your cell phone, just do it!'