Heels Hater T-Shirts

"You can join our gang but you have to lose those silly shoes!"

"What's a patent?"

'That's it then - I'll take the slinky high-heeled cocktail number in a 5 and the everyday workshoe in a 7...'

He won't sit, but he heels well.

Shoe addict.

'The wheel was easy, the owner's manual is hard!'

Mister Pretty Shoes

"Do you do much walking?"

Do you suppose this is art or science?

'Sit, Rollover, Heel'

'You know, there's no need to reinvent the rock.'

Man burning his tie.

'The hard part will be writing the tutorial.'

Caveman who has just invented the wheel is amazed to see a paper airplane demonstrating the principle of flight.

'Honestly Gwen, do you really think that guys are going to notice your heels tonight?'

'Yes, Dear, they are very pretty shoes!'

'You got here just in time - These shoes are killing you.'

"I got it in a novelty shop. But it has decreased loitering around the watercooler with 29%!"

Caveman on the brink of technology.

'I can't help thinking there's something else we can do with this.'

A genie helps a man fold laundry.

"Oh, shut up. Who isn't in your shoes?"

'The car dealership is letting me buy an expensive sports car, one piece at a time. I decided to buy the steering wheel first.'

"I hate hibernating! All our devices need updating. And now we need to go through a thousand phone and text messages."

"I just adore these shoes! The clicking of staccato heels is so empowering. . . Do these come in a flat?"

'Quick Betty, come round to the Red Lion and wear your highest heels.'

'Only one side effect - colossal pain...'

'It'll make 'feet' obsolete!'

'Perfect! -- Now let's build some rest stops!'

"I always wear 5 inch heels to a doctor's appointment. That makes me the perfect weight for my height."

'I just invented the wheel and a new concept called 'growth industry'.'

Hamster.

Carole Jean's First "Big Girl" Heels

"Height is the only thing I'm capable of changing about myself."

"Jimmy Choo, Mahnolo Blahnik- honestly can't taste the difference."