Heel Hoarder Gifts

Shoe addict.

'Looks like somebody needs to lay off of the authentic angel food cake!'

"Do you do much walking?"

"She just loves them - she's a total girl horse."

Festive squad

'Look, if we're going to make this business work, we need to stop eating all the stock.'

"I brought my worn out shoes because I heard that confession was good for the sole!"

'Yes, Dear, they are very pretty shoes!'

'Looks like they decided not to g south this winter.'

Amazon Prime Day ~ The Aftermath

"I fly so often, not only am I accumulating miles, I'm actually starting to sprout wings."

'Oh good, it looks like the few things I ordered from the catalogue have arrived.'

"Jimmy Choo, Mahnolo Blahnik- honestly can't taste the difference."

'Call me a slave to fashion, but how do I get down from these without killing myself?'

Everyday is cyber Monday.

"I bet you couldn't eat three."

Stilettos Sharpened

This isn't the magic top hat, either – I told you we were lost.

Recycling bins for glass, paper, metal and IDEAS.

"I have to always remind myself, 'judge the shoes, not the person'."

Hellmets: Crash helmets in the form of Hell.

'Yes Ma'am, I do pick up unwanted hives.'

Shoes

'He's so proud of his art collection.'

'As a general rule of thumb, if your only assets are your frequent flyer miles, you don't need to create a trust for your children.'

"Collects his paper every morning - regular as clockwork!"

'I think you've been spending too much time in the greenhouse.'

I know, it's true - Never go hardware shopping on an empty toolbox. Saw.

'This new style should sell like hot cakes.' - 'It's big on the inside and small on the outside.'

Can't wait to get out of these heels and into my bunny slippers.

Toilet Paper Inheritance

"Panic-buying in expectation of a public sector strike."

"Congratulations! You've won a lifetime supply of school supplies."

Website reads 'Customers who bought this item... also bought...'.

'Over there! Isn't that my missing ceramic frying pan?'