Heel Hoarder Pillows

Shoe addict.

'Looks like somebody needs to lay off of the authentic angel food cake!'

"Do you do much walking?"

Festive squad

"She just loves them - she's a total girl horse."

'Look, if we're going to make this business work, we need to stop eating all the stock.'

"I brought my worn out shoes because I heard that confession was good for the sole!"

'Yes, Dear, they are very pretty shoes!'

'Looks like they decided not to g south this winter.'

"I fly so often, not only am I accumulating miles, I'm actually starting to sprout wings."

'Oh good, it looks like the few things I ordered from the catalogue have arrived.'

Amazon Prime Day ~ The Aftermath

"Jimmy Choo, Mahnolo Blahnik- honestly can't taste the difference."

Everyday is cyber Monday.

'Call me a slave to fashion, but how do I get down from these without killing myself?'

"I bet you couldn't eat three."

Stilettos Sharpened

Recycling bins for glass, paper, metal and IDEAS.

"I have to always remind myself, 'judge the shoes, not the person'."

Shoes

Hellmets: Crash helmets in the form of Hell.

'Yes Ma'am, I do pick up unwanted hives.'

'He's so proud of his art collection.'

'As a general rule of thumb, if your only assets are your frequent flyer miles, you don't need to create a trust for your children.'

'I think you've been spending too much time in the greenhouse.'

'This new style should sell like hot cakes.' - 'It's big on the inside and small on the outside.'

"Collects his paper every morning - regular as clockwork!"

Can't wait to get out of these heels and into my bunny slippers.

Toilet Paper Inheritance

Cat sleeps vertically in upended "This way up" box.

"Panic-buying in expectation of a public sector strike."

"Congratulations! You've won a lifetime supply of school supplies."

'Over there! Isn't that my missing ceramic frying pan?'

Website reads 'Customers who bought this item... also bought...'.