Heavy Sleeper Sympathizer T-Shirts

Armstrong Maynard, waaaake uuuuup!!! Waaaaaaaake uuuuuuuuppp!!! Give me a break. Heavy sleepers are absolutely the worst part of the haunting business. Bang on a pot!

Bed Seasons

I know time is an earthly construct, but I still feel sleepy in the afternoons.

'Great! The world ended and I slept right through it!'

Man has a dream about a clumsy sheep.

"I can sleep late, but, as his agent, I still get ten percent of the worm."

'Sure I sleep all day. She snores all night.'

Bed and Lunch: For People Who Like To Sleep In

"Not me, brother - you wake him!"

'Since we got this round bed, I've been waking up dizzy every morning!'

'OVERSLEPT? All four thousand of them???'

Tarzan, the Heavy Sleeper.

"When I can't sleep I don't count sheep I count my blessings."

"Mummy's a bit grisly in the mornings. But after something to eat and a little nap, she's quite pleasant."

"Honey, you awake? Are you sleeping? Well, I hated your lasagna tonight."

Waking the Dead.

"This alarm clock is guaranteed to wake you. It's sounds like a husband snoring."

"Just two paragraphs from our internet provider's terms and conditions agreement and she was out like a light."

"Sorry - is my snoring driving you nuts?"

Sleepless Night with a Mosquito

Doug always circled around four or five times before lying down to sleep.

"Dad, can you stop snoring?"

'I got rid of those funny little spots in front of my eyes. Now what's bugging me is a buzzing noise in my ears, like somebody sawing logs.'

'Get up or I'll send in gramma.'

"Could you stop making that breathing sound?"

'Myself, I'm not a morning person, so I'm definitely not interested in one of those up-at-the-crack-of-dawn types, you know what I mean?'

"No! I don't think these are adjustable beds. Why?"

'And don't bother your father. He tossed and turned all winter.'

'I can't sleep a wink - it feels like someone's got their life savings under here.'

"I stay awake all night worrying about my insomnia, doctor!"

"I have a problem with resisting arrest."

"I thought you said Dad could sleep through anything."

"Time to wake up, Jim. It's Monday morning."

'My husband will be a little late getting to the office, but he's on his way.'

"It says, 'sorry ... I forgot you're three hours earlier out there'."